Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in the studio in Cardiff with Chris Corcoran.

Stop getting in touch about gnus. That's __ __ __ / Yeah? ... What's the gnu thing? / Uh ... / I've seen __ Twitter action on gnu. / Yeah. ... I'm not telling you because I put it to bed weeks ago, / Fine. / ... and people keep writing in about it. And you can carry on, people. Keep writing in. Keep wasting your valuable time. / Yeah, but what was it? What is it, though? / It's your own time ... It's your own time you're wasting. / I'm not / tell me / trousers __ we talked about a couple of weeks ago ... people're still writing in ... / Trousersgate. / people're still writing in about trousers and pairs of trousers and pair of overalls and why isn't it this, and whey __ __ __ pair of socks / why isn't it that / why is it that earrings are ... / of overalls and why is it / rings / gone. / Put to bed? / B ... buried. / Folded up __ c__? / Folded up ... well, I haven't got __ __ ... __ yeah, / up / put away ... uh ... put away in a drawer marked "DO NOT TOUCH". / Or on a coat hanger. / if you prefer / Uh ... / gone. Uh ... / gone. So, forget those things / new subject__ today / what have we got, mate? / Nothing. / Well, obviously / you know / what have __ got? / I've got some quizzes ... / OK. / ...in my little plastic bag ... __ __ in my plastic bag in a minute / __ __ set them out on the floor / I / set / down there / look / down there / pile that says "QUIZ"/ There__ loads of piles of ... just ... really old newspapers. ... It looks like an antique shop, basically. / It does look like an a__ shop / __ like __ __ load of __ items __ some antique shop. / The quiz ... I've got a Wrong-Answer Quiz for you. / You were really excited about this before we came on air. / I'm really excited about it, yeah. I am really excited about it. Don't let my ... apparent, uh, disinterest now ... uh ... fool you. I'm really excited. But it's coming up in the second half, the Lunch Club.

Price of oven gloves is going up / it says here / All right. __ __ time now? / light-hearted gamble through the newspapers / still __ __ 26 / OK. / price of oven gloves / up / it says. / No. / Yeah. ... Yeah. / Why? / Price of oven gloves is going up. / No. / I don't know how many times I can say this. / 何回言わせんだよ / ... Give__ it more gravitas each time you say it. / 言うたびに ... が増してくる / Price of oven gloves is going up / I've got / right time. / Did you? / Yeah. / No. / Genuinely. / No. / Yeah. / No. / I promise. ... I'll show you them later if you come round. Do you wanna come round to see my oven gloves? / No, I don't / OK. Fair enough. Just take my word for it then. / I'd rather take your word for it / just take / __ ... in the future, possibly, I __ __ shown to be a fool / OK. / yeah / there are flowers on them. / I'd rather, in a few years' time, __, "Do you remember / the day before ... / I was bluffing. / Yeah. ... __ __ ... I'd take that chance, mate, rather than ... / OK. / ... rather than come over to yours and have a look at your oven gloves. / Well, it's not the only thing __ could do if __ __ __ / though / before ... before __ __ oven gloves / I've done a lot since you were last there. / I was there ... three minutes. I left, bored, because there was nothing to look at. / Uh ... / What are your oven gloves like, that you bought / got flowers on them / Really? / Yeah. ... / __ got __ __ old ... uh ... Swedish place __ __ __ spend__ / half their lives __ __ arg__ / Yeah / Hmm / What happened to your old oven gloves? / Well, __ __ just a bit ... a bit __ stinking of milk. ... You know __ __ __ used. / Do you know what? It's funny __ __ oven gloves, 'cause yesterday I __ fish pie on mine ... and ... / ... You __ get in there, mate, before the price of oven gloves goes up. / It's funny __ __ fish pie __ __ oven glove because ... Do you know what went through my mind __ __ got two choices here / No. Go on. Tell us. / got three choices here. ... This is bad. / Yeah? / Because I was going out immediately after eating that fish pie, / Yeah, / I thought, "It's not really my problem." That's awful. That's selfish, isn't it? So, I thought there __ three things / bear in mind __ __ your oven gloves / Yeah, I know, but I don't live alone ... you know. / Yeah. / There ... there __ other people / OK. / implications ... repercussions __ __ __ __ in the house / Yeah, / if I ... my oven gloves / get / That's really bad. That is really bad. / It is really bad. So, I thought, 1: ... / Huh huh, / the dog was looking at me / I / just / let __ lick __ __ pie off the oven glove__ / I know. Once you've got a dog, __ __ oven gloves / __ __ care about these things / Interesting point. / Um ... secondly, I thought I could give it a wipe with a sponge, ... / Obviously. / Thirdly, and this is what I did, I just rub them together ... rub them together hard enough to, sort of, ... just ... rub the fish pie / into them / yeah / back on ... uh ... / probably explains why mine are all stinky and a bit milky and a bit ... dirty / __ __ / that's what happened / __ __ __ __ your oven gloves ... Anyway ... so, you bought them yesterday? / そうか。昨日買ったのか。なべつかみの値が高騰する前でよかったな。 / Yeah. __ __ __ __ __ / The price of oven gloves is going ... it says here, / The price of oven gloves is set to soar. / No. / Soar. / I can't wait to know why. / I'll tell you now. / ... after new European Union safety rules came into law yesterday. MEPs yesterday approved plans to ensure that all oven gloves are ... / heat-resistant? / ... tested and certified to prove they can withstand heat of up to ... / heat-resist__t / ... 200 degrees Celsius. / Now, while you're at home, going, __ oven gloves are soaring / __ __ EU gone mad? / before you all react like that, / ... which is possible, isn't it? / Quite / people do need / action like that / people / I wouldn't be surprised ... / __ __ bananas / But, before you go bonkers and crazy, how many times have we burnt our hands on ... in ... insubstantial oven gloves ... poor oven gloves? I'm all ... I'm always ... / stick my hand__ / burn my hands __ __ oven gloves are rubbish. / Yeah? / So, I ... I welcome it. / Do you? / Yeah. ... I welcome ... I'd much rather __ __ __ standard of quality of ... uh ... / if I was / guaranteed / oven glove__ / heat-re__ / 200 degrees / much happier man. / As long as / print / flower / I'm happy / You can have / whatever / says here. Um ... / Existing ones may have to be pulled from the shelves. / Good grief. / Yeah. ... So, you might ... you might have to throw yours away after buying / yeah / cars, are they? / Yeah. There could be a recall. / Really? ... Wow. / Look at this / ... like __ __ ... like __ a__ for oven gloves / Oh, oh, rubber gloves __ __ __ __ go into this / __llo / rubber gloves will also have to be tested. / What? What for? / Um ... / To see if they are water-resistant? / ... No. ... / Rubber gloves ... / __ __ made of sponge __ be banned / スポンジ製のゴム手袋は禁止 / Rubber gloves __ also have to be tested to ensure they can withstand everyday kitchen detergents and cleaning products / Yeah ... __ ... surely ... / __ gloves, / it says here. / No. / No. ... __ gloves ... I'm gonna have to recall __ __ __ __ __ / Yeah? / __ thing is, __ __ people __ __ __ in __ normal gloves __ __ __ __ __ __ Are they supposed to be __ ? / __ __ __ / __ __ __ __ adverti__e __ in the first place / yeah / a better deal __ __ oven gloves / ladies and gentlemen / Who's ... who's with me? / Put __ __ T-shirt__ / We're meeting at the bus station, 2 o'clock today. / I'll march. / Get ... get your placards ready. / Get your oven gloves out. / Get your gloves on.

__ __ from Singapore. ... / Hello, Rhod and K__, / Huh, that's nice. __ __ given ... given you a little ... uh ... __ name there. / Hi. / I cooked __ curry last week / this __ __ better, mate / Do you know what? I cooked / last week as well / I cooked __ curry last week. / Well, well, well ... / Well ... __ just __ __ show __ something that sounds like nothing __ suddenly __ __ something / turned into a massive feature. ... __ __ from Singapore __ cooking curry__, you cooked a curry in Cardiff, and I cooked __ in Cardiff / Yeah. ... No, Spain. / You cooked __ curry in Spain? / Yeah. / What? You were like one of these people who go__ to Spain __ __ egg__ and chips __ __ what were you ... what were you doing, cooking __ curry? / some food / why didn't you / Spanish food? __ __ What did you __ to Spain for? / I don't know how to cook Spanish food / But why don't you go out to eat / Ten days. But __ __ __ ... / we / in / What? __ __ __ __ went there and sat in __ house and ... / Not ... not for the whole thing. ... Not for the whole holiday. That was just one night that we were in, so __ __ __ ... / when you are in Spain, surely you go out and you get some Spanish sausage and you get some __ __ fresh vegetables / some / asp__s / tapasy things / Yeah, / you have ... uh ... you have g__ __, you __ some prawns, you get some g__ / g__ some cro__ / get some / you get ... uh ... you know / c__ ... uh ... ham-c__s / y__ g__ / p__, yeah, yeah. / p__ ... exactly. / I know. / What did you have __ __ curry? / What / but you don't know / chicken masala ... chicken tikka masala? / No. / What was in the curry? / Right. ... / Well, unless it was chorizo ... or ... What was it? / ... Turkey. / You had warmed-up Christmas left-overs on holiday in Spain in January, didn't you? Did you take with you / in a little tapperware box / Christmas / t__, sprouts / fresh. / __ __ curry __ bubble __ __ __ ... t__ curry in ... / Tapas / at least they were vaguely ... uh ... Spanish __. / それはかろうじて、少しはスペインだな / curry sauce and y__. ... __ __ healthy one. / Curry sauce? ... / You know, like, curry paste __ __ __ __. / Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I know what you're talking about. When you say you cooked __ curry, mate, you __ __ __ __ jar, didn't you? / Oh, I didn't make the curry paste. / Why didn't you make the curry paste? / ... What do you mean? / why / g__ some / I'm on holiday / why / you / on a cooking show / using a jar of curry-paste and mix __ up __ t__ and ... __ t__ / s__ / left-over Christmas dinner / Because ... because ... / we just wanted to eat some food, right? / Uh ... hey, I ... I get that. / __ __ __ TV chef. / D ... definitely __ __ __ radio chef __ __ awful. / But would you know how to make a curry paste? / Of c ... yeah, of course. I've just told you the basics there. / __ __ ... What was it? / Tur ... turmeric. I'd use twice as much turmeric__ as I would cumin and coriander, then get some ... get some ... uh ... / How do you make it pasty? That's all dry. / Well, just ... / Olive oil? / Uh, you could __ __ some olive oil / onions and garlic__, tomatos, peppers, that kind of things / Well, I did all that. / and then / and then / put / when did you put __ sprouts in? / ... Anyway, what's this bloke got to say? / Oh. ... What bloke? / The curry bloke that __ us __ __ into a massive feature. / OK. ... Uh ... / ... What was in your curry? / Huh? / when you cooked it last week / Uh ... mustard seeds. / Did you cook the paste? Did ... you ... you made the paste? / Yes. / ... All right. ... So, you made ... / Of course I did. / You made the paste? / No. I used __ Dermot O'Leary's curry jar. What ... I don't know. / He doesn't do one, __ __ ridiculous. ... / other guy / You mean Roy Grossman? / Yeah. ... Paul Newman, I meant. ... I hope I have a career like his. / Who? Paul Newman's ? / I hope I reach the heights of __ __ all that kind of ... and then ... and then ... just ... / __ __ cooking? / Yeah. / Yeah? / Well, you probably could. / __ end up __ my own / Rhod Gilbert __ ... __ what line of food do you reckon __ __ gotta ... / Uh, you just do a good roast, you did. / I can cook well, mate. / Yeah, I know you can. / I __ __ __ __ do anything / __ __ real talent you've got. / But if you're gonna go into ... like ... if you / got ... well, brand __ like that / __ __ focus / 絞らないと / mate / you know what / curry paste / Rhod Gilbert's curry paste / be stepping on Newman's toes / __ ... Was it a chicken one? / and __ his face / Yeah. / ... Uh ... it was a chicken, yeah. / OK. Good. ... / Yeah. / Rice? / Uh ... / s__ / Did you mix it with ... / __ __ / __, __ __ spinach. Nice, yeah yeah. / Of course I had rice. / Yeah? / __ ... / Well, not of course. Sometimes __ __ have naan bread. / __ __ / Did you mix it with yoghurt / or did you / I did / Yeah? OK. / Good. / __ __ fresh coriander / ... Well, this guy's email'd better be good. / さんざん引っ張ったな。これでこのメールがつまらなかったら / __ __ from Singapore __ __ __ __ / Here we go. / __ __ from Singapore / Hello, Rhod and K__ / Hi. / I ... I cooked a curry last week / And I did. / You've said that, mate. ... Get __ with it. / I put on my oven glove / Oh, oh. / to ... to lift it up / Yeah / he's just showing off. He's got one of those connected-up ones / put on my oven glove to lift it up / Oh. / ... and completely lost the grip on the pot and dropped all the curry on the floor. / Huhhh ... man. / __ __ hell of a story. You should go __ __ __ __ to you. ... __ __ says here / __ __ __ __ / uh ... / oven glove or my fat finger's fault / Does he answer the question? / I don't ... yeah ... I don't know, uh, __ __ from Singapore. Only you will know that. You will know, in your heart of hearts, whether you ... Do you blame the oven glove? Or do you blame yourself? / Hmm. / And, in blaming one or the other, do you, honestly, deep down, believe that? / only you ... only you can know that. / True. / I mean, Korkey __ __ __ __ Yes or No on the spot oven glove ... uh ... detective. / What do you wanna do? / Sure. / whose fault / oven-glove ... uh ... detective / I'll give you an answer / OK / Yes or no? On the spot. / Yes.

Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

Every Six Nations, they __ flocking to the capital to share __ the excitement / rugby's greatest championship. I'm talking, of course, about pigeons. Welsh pigeons do love their rugby. Well, you know, three feathers __ __ that. / It's __ __ nation__ I feel sorry for. / How __ you mean? / __ __ fans __ never experience it like we do. __ look __ and __ passion, the sight of Welsh attacking __ __ , the sound of the voices rise again to the heavens. / The smell of dropped chips. / I used to play rugby, you know. / Don't tell me, __.__ / __, __ __. I was like a __ __ __ / ... Except __ __ __ __ __ / Follow the three feathers. Wales, in the Six Nations 2016 on BBC Radio Wales, on TV and online.

Yes, indeed, BBC Radio Wales. ... Korkey, you're ... uh ... you'll be ... you'll be ... uh ... __ into that one, won't you? / Yeah. Korkey__ Six Nations starts ... uh ... before the first game, 5th or 6th __ __ __ Friday / Uh ... of what? 5th or 6th of what? / ... of ... Feb / __ ... / first game / Feb / What's ... what's the first game? / Uh ... Ireland __ __ __ / Friday 5th ... 5th of Feb. ... So, your show is ... Korkey's Extension is on ... what? / Thursday / no / Friday night / the first game's on __ Saturday, but the show ... / Yeah. / Oh, Paul the producer's saying in my ear ... he's ... he's saying the first game's __ on Friday / first game / on / Sunday / you say__ now / Sunday / Sunday the 6th / your show's on / Friday night / uh ... and then __ __ Saturday afternoon as well. / I don't care any more. / __ __ __ __ Sunday. / I've lost interest, mate. / Huh. / We've all lost interest. Uh ... __ ... Look, __ ... __, there's rugby coming up. It's __ Six Nations __ __ __ people __ before they do, Korkey will be on TV / doing __ Six Nations / There we are. Couldn't've been simpler. / ... Radio. / Radio. ... It used to be on TV, that programme. What happened? / Yeah ... well ... / They've kicked you off, eh? / yeah, yeah ... yeah, ... can't __ ... can't say what happened really. / I'll tell you what. I hope __ link / makes the podcast. ... It's got __ __, __? / Radio Wales, 6 o'clock __ __ ... / Radio Wales __ ... hey, nobody care ... nobody cares any more. They're just enjoying the ... uh ... mistakes. ... There's a text here from __ in __ __ __. Uh ... / Hello, Rhod and Korkey, / Hello. / just a suggestion for a quiz. 'Cause the Six Nations are coming up, how about a rugby quiz? / Mate, I don't think that's a good idea. Do you? __ __ __ that link. / we / rugby quiz / Are you? / Yeah. / on / two days before / the first match / Yeah. / Brilliant. / Korkey's Six Nations, Friday, before the game, whenever the game is. / 試合がいつなのか知らんけど / Uh ... __ / probably Sunday.

Out Of Context Bingo rolls on. Celebrity Out Of Context Bingo. Have you seen a celebrity out of context? Usually we like ones that are ironically out of context. OK? / Hmm. / It is one of the longest-running features / Yeah, like, Slash from Guns N' Roses reparing a slashed tire. ... That kinda thing / ironically / is it? / it's not very likely, but ... / in ... well, you think one just from the top of your head. / ... No. / Right. So, it's not easy, is it? / No. / came up with / fair enough / perfectly / made the point, didn't it? / Noddy Holder ... uh ... snapping off a cup holder in his car ... __ __ just in a mood. ... Right? ... __ ... you know. / What? 'cause / not / just not out of context / just a play on words. / I'm just spitting, as they say. / just a play on words, you know. / I know. But it would work, wouldn't it? Somebody / I saw Noddy Holder / coffee / and snapped the cup holder / Uh? / glam rocker Noddy Holder, ... / Yeah, / ... known for being on stage playing glam rock songs, / Right. / Yeah? / Yeah. / So, then, "out of context" would be something to do with g__ r__ / nothing to do with __ cup-holder __ __ car. / __, if somebody wrote in and said, / Hey, Rhod, for your / I saw Noddy Holder get in a car and put a cup of coffee in __ cup holder off his car ... / Yeah, / ... so violently, so ... so clumsily that he snapped the cup holder off his car", you'd go, "I'm not having that. I don't see / nothing there for me / nothing there for me that __ Noddy Holder / cup holder / I'm not being deliberately cont__, Rhod. I / think / No, genuinely not. / So, you wouldn't accept that? / Well, no. / ... Blimey. / Don't you think that ... that ... that's just a play on words? / Huh? / What was that Chris Eubank's one? __ __ a good one __ musical? ... That one worked. / We had a good one years ago. __ __ / __ __ __ remember / propping up __ __ / __ __ fighting and then ... and then ... / I can't remember, mate. But __ ... / something else / __ __ __ one / People can be known for more than one thing. / ... Yeah, but there's not a point about being out of context __ __ one thing __ __ known for / Yeah, but / if their name__ / that ... that / opposite direction of __ name / accept that / That's play-on-words bingo. / Huh? It's not play-on-words bongo __ __ __ got a feature Play-on-Words Bingo. I'm not gonna ... / We have now. / No, we haven't / All right. / ... Uh ... so, we've got lots of them coming in. / OK. / Although, uh, people are extending out into other areas now. Look, / Hi, Rhod. This isn't a celebrity, but I was popping into a shop the other day, and / he's from A__ / not a celebrity. I was ... But I was __ __ __ __ __ the other day, and a man walked by in a camouflage all-in-one thing and a high viz vest. ... Did he want to be seen or not? / That's excellent. ... Contradictory clothes. / Did he want to be seen or not? / That's great. / I'd ... um, I don't know. / Maybe a bit of him. / I think it depends where he was, really. Uh ... popping into __ shops the other day ... depend__ on where ... were you actually near the shop? Or were you still in a kind of a place where camouflage __ would have worked __ like __ in a country __ __ __ shops / Yeah. / you know. ... Uh ... / It still suggests he wasn't quite focused on what he was doing. / Uh ... now we're on the subject, I might as well / get the rest of the ... uh ... of the Celebrity Out Of Context Bingo__. Hold the fort / OK. ... Well, as long as __ __ context __ not just a play on words, ... / __ __ ... / ... I'm looking forward to it / You decide. / OK. / You decide, mate. / Morning, Rhod and Korkey. I'm not sure ... / Morning. / I'm not sure if you're still running the feature. / Uh ... we are. / __ my friend, F__, worked in D__ in an office next to a pet shop. / OK. / One day, Neil Tennant walked past the office and went into the pet shop. / Yeah, / I'm not sure if that's out of context or in context, but surely worth at least 1 point. / ... So, we have got a points ... uh ... leader board. It's down to you, Korkey, to ... uh ... __. At the moment, in the lead is the ... uh ... one of my favorites ... __ __ __ __ remember, is the ... uh ... somebody saying that __ __ Martin Freeman being in the airport, at the height of his fame in The Hobbit, uh, being ... uh ... turned away from the facial recognition system / it didn't recognize him, which ... uh ... / I mean / like that / that's not what Martin Freeman __ most known for __ being __ recognizable face / No, but the point about being famous ... / ... Yeah, but that's not what he's known for, is it? / Hhh / __'s not / most known for being famous. He's not / context / very famous / he's not somebody from ... uh ... / somebody from ... uh ... you know, ... __ our post-modern world of celebrities. He's famous for being an actor, famous for actually doing something / not just being / being in an office / being __ Hobbit or something / that's not his biggest thing, is it? So, I think you're being a bit too picky with this. ... Anyway, what are you gonna give that? / Uh ... Well, that's a good one. That's funny. And ... and ... in the context of being famous ... I think / it's not out of context at all, is it? / N__ T__ / Pet Shop Boys / into a pet shop / now __ __ __ pass your rigorous out-of-context / You said "David Tennant" / No, I didn't. / Huh. / Neil Tennant. / Neil Tennant? I was thinking __ Dr. Who. / I was thinking, "That doesn't work / you thought / who / pet shop / out of context? / I know. But / said, "All right" then / asked / all right / I asked you / No, no / about that one / opinion / this is __ __ asking you about. / OK. / __ __ Neil Tennant / OK. Right. That makes much more sense. / pet shop / David Tennant walks into a pet shop / That's not bad. / somebody / Yeah. I wouldn't have given that anything. / All right. Fair enough. / Hmm. / Uh ... what are you giving to this one? / So, Neil Tennant __ __ a pet shop? / Yeah. / Uh ... / ... from Peter W__ton. This is ... / play on words / huh? / it's a really good spot, but it's a play on words. It's / not / out of context / is it? / Uh ... no, not no points. ... Is it out of 10 ? / 20. / Oh, 20 ... Uh, well, I think it's a good one. So, um ... 14. / It's not even out of context and you're giving it 14? / Yeah. But it's a good fun email. / You just swing __ from one extreme to the other of not allowing things ... / Earlier, you said ... / 9. / Earlier, you said __ __ I gave you, the example I gave you / cup holder from his car / you said / just a play on words / Well, this one's a play on words as well, and you're giving it 14 points. / But I enjoyed it. / put / make it 9 ... 8 / make it 8 then. / All right, 8 points. / But it was good. / OK. ... That's a good 8 points. / OK. / __ __ good 40%. / Within the context of / 8 points, __ __ that's a good one. / __ __ __ you __ ... well done. / Yeah. I like it. / ... OK. Let's have a look here. What have we got? ... This is ... / Hi, Rhod and Korkey. / Hi. / In the late 1980's, the well-known television personality, Bob Monkhouse visited my old grandmother in the nursing home she resided in. / Huh, __ is a nice story. / ... doesn't say why. / This was a convent nursing home. / OK. / That's a convent, a nuns' house. ... Bob Monk-house ... / Huh, that's brilliant. / This is very ironically out of context, Bob Monkhouse in a nuns' house. / I love it. / I love podcast. It makes my round a ... a lot more fun / OK. So, postman G__ / That's really good, isn't it? / postman Gavin ... / Bob Monkhouse / never read __ in the future, but ... / Monkhouse in nun's house. ... / Yeah. / How many points? / 14. ... I know it's a play on words, but __ fun. It's a really good ... All right. 10. / Oh, your point system is ... / 10. / People are gonna go ... Phones are gonna start to go off the wall in there, off the hook __ ... / That is a good one, isn't it? / Yeah. / we__ enjoyed it a lot. You enjoyed more than 10 points. __ __ __ ... that's 50% of your enjoy-odometer. You laughed out loud. / Huh, OK. Fair point. / Right. / what shall I / on? / purely strictly on __ __ out of context / Whatever you want. / All right. __ __ put __ __ 14 __ then. / OK. / I think that's a really good one. That's ... that's the best one so far. / OK. / all right / let me see what else we've got here. ... Uh ... / I just saw __ comedian Kevin McDonald at Burger King. / バーガーキングでマクドナルドを見た / Huh, OK. / Yeah. ... Uh ... / __ became excited __ I saw him __ I knew __ __ __ exact type of low-effort, h__y name-based pun you would think ... you would think was complete trash and award me very few points ... / Excellent. / __ very much d__, then tell me never to contact the show again / __ I __ __ __ did kinda go, "__" / Yeah. / so, there you are. / I demand no more than 4 points. Thank you for your time. / Tim F__ ... / Fantastic. And he's even done his own score. Pop him down for 4. / an excellent email. / I __ __ happy / 5 there just because ... just because you're very self-aware / 自覚があるだけましだ / and / extra point / sounds like __ __ very capable human being / you're a very capable human being / know / what he did. / what do you mean? For living? / Yeah. / ... Get back in touch, __, if you bother to waste more of your time. OK. ... Last one. / Yeah. / ... / Hi both, / Hi, / ... Now, the other day we had one that said, uh, Ian McKellen ... / Yeah? / ... playing ... __ that right? / Huh huh. / Uh ... he was holding a door open for someone. / OK / That was an entry. OK? / apparently / The Lord of the Rings or whatever / does he say, "You shall not pass" or something like that / You shall not ... / I don't know. I ... / ... pass. ... / I haven't seen it, right? I haven't seen it, right? / OK. / __ __ read __ __ __ / I have seen it. But I can't remember it. / OK. / Ian McKellen stops people passing, right? That's ... that's the jist. And then, somebody saw him holding a door open. / Yeah. / ... Right? / ... That reminded me of one from my past. I used to work in a posh hotel in London. Regular business included Hollywood movers and shakers coming to do promotional tours when their films opened in London. / OK. / One such guest was a certain Mr. Schwarzenegger. I only knew this 'cause he was standing __ reception __ blocking out __ __ ... bluh bluh ... He was with a much smaller man, who I assumed __ __ agent or p__ or something. This chap was having a go at the receptionist about some perceived problem. Apparently the dispute was not resolved to the guest's satisfaction as the conversation ended with the __ agent chap telling the manager with some volume, that, as a result of this __, Mr. Schwarzenegger is taking his business / elsewhere in __ future. / OK. / So, he wouldn't be back. / ... Now ... now, you'd be tempted to give this quite a high ... / That's good. / You'd be ... OK. So ... so ... so ... unless ... um ... / 'Cause he is best known for "I'll be back" / Uh .... certainly a well-known catch-phrase of his, yeah. / Yeah. Definitely. / "I'll be back" / That's excellent. / So, you'd give this what? / 15 / Oh, 15. / 15 points? OK. / very strong 15. But then he says ... this is from A__ in D__ ... then he says ... and this is a real __ __ __ __, this is. / He says, / P.S. All of the above is not true, not in the slightest bit true. / Right? / Huh. / ... But he says here, / ... just like the Ian McKellen one. / And uh ... so, he ... basically, he ... what he's suggesting is that ... that ... uh, that people are writing in __ __ __ aren't true __ __ __ / sceptical ... / very sceptical. And then he's taken the time to make one up, __ __ ... / つまり、あれは作り話だと言いたかったんだ。そのためにわざわざ、自分でも作り話をひとつ作ってみせた。 / it's a really good one. So, we've got ... and this begs a question / spin-off feature / just make / what / made-up celebrity / __ opens up a whole new world __ __ much better ones if you just open it up to __ things that didn't happen / Huh, yeah. __ __ __ spoil it / I don't know. I don't know. I ... / it does / good / This is ... this is life. Life is funny like this. You know, something / does that spoil / make it better? / mp3's / yeah / I feel the same way about that. / In what sense? / ambivalent__ / not sure / everything / like, this afternoon, we're going to __ record shop / we're gonna buy loads of records and CDs / old school / mp3's / a really good example / It is a really good example. / Yeah. / Right. / ... 'cause / more consumable / quality / gone / we don't know what you've done / in D__ / in a way, you've made ... you know, you've ... you've opened up a can of worms. Are people making / sending them in / B: Does it matter, if we enjoy them, eh? / I don't think it matters. / ... Round and round and round and round / But I will feel let down. / Well, from now on, I won't tell you whether / people / up or not / I __ read them out. You __ __ point. / life ... boom !

Over Christmas ... / This is from Uncle Richard in B__. ... Right? / who says, "P.S. I'm making a curry tonight. / Uh ... / Over Christmas, whilst travelling between relatives around the country, we caught up on some of your podcasts in the car, including the Celebrity Out Of Context, where Aled Jones was seen not walking in the air. / OK. / Right? ... He was seen walking, like, through Cardiff or some__ pavement / That's a good one. / not walking in the air / out / Yeah, we liked it. Uh ... / Last week, me and my son were watching The O__ on the TV, and my son said, / It's hard to think of him as the same bloke who sang The Snowman song. / "Who?" I said. / "Alun Wyn Jones", my son said. / ... For those ... uh ... non ... non-rugby ... fans __ __ / 特にラグビーのファンでない方は知らないかもしれませんが ... / Alun Wyn Jones is, like, a 6 foot 5, sort of, British __ __ Wales ... uh / Captain. / second-__ captain / built like / p__ / very ... definitely not like Aled Jones. Uh ... / Is this __ __taken __ Celebrity out-of-context celebrity / says ... uh ... says Uncle R__ in __ / that's great / What a great email ! / It is a ... very nice ... uh ... email / quiz time / I had ... I had a little ... uh ... There was a text from somebody. Hold the fort / Quiz quiz. ... What sort of quiz is it? ... Quiz quiz. ... / __ this email / text from / uh, who says, / I was on Family Fortunes back in 1992 ... / Good start. / ... with my family. / ファミリー・フォーチュンに出ました。家族と一緒に / .... It's a bit of superfluous information there. / いらん情報だ / Les Dennis asked my stepmother to name a flightless bird, and she answered "swan". ... When Les stopped laughing, she said they didn't fly when she saw them in __ park. / ... Right. That gets us into our quiz, which is Wrong Answers on Quiz Shows Quiz / Wrong Answers on Quiz Shows Quiz. OK? / Yeah. / Wrong Answers on Quiz Show Quiz, where you have to guess the right wrong answer / ... That's a great set-up. / It is good. ... Question 1. / Yeah. / get / five / Question 1 / play along at home if it's safe and legal to do so / pull over ... right? ... 'cause somebody __ __ __ make you laugh. / What was the principle language used by the ancient Romans? / this / Weakest Link / from / Robertson's asking this question / What was the principle language used by the ancient Romans? ... What did the contestant answer? / Greek. / Ping ! / No way. / 1 point. ... Hang on. I'm gonna get a bit of paper. / Thank you. / ... I'm so excited. ... u__ ... u__ ... u__ p__ ... u__ p__ ... 1 point. ... Boom ! ... Isn't that funny __ __ __ __ right wrong answer / Yeah. ... That's __ quite easy one to start / OK. ... In science / again, __ __ Weakest Link / なんの話？ / In science, what is botany the study of? ... In science, ... / Yeah, / ... what is botany the study of? You have to get the right ... / Uh ... / ... wrong answer. / Uh ... behinds. ... Human behinds. ... as in "botty". / Ping ! / No ! / Bottoms. / Yes ! / "Bottoms" was the answer. / This is a great quiz. / I'm gonna give it to you / good / innit? / it's getting harder, though. / actually, it's getting easier / really easy one __ just in case anyone / got nothing / home / come on / easy / everyone will get. / Yeah. / comes before "be thy name" / ... Uh ... "Hello". / ... No. / Well, it's "Hallowed be thy name", innit? / Yeah, I know, but what __ everyone get it mixed up with? / Hmm ... / What's the obvious thing / to confuse __ __ with_ / Uh ... / Oh my word. / Hal ... / Oh my word. / I don't know. / Hallowed be thy name. ... What __ kids __ mix it up / I don't make this mistake / that's not the way to look at it, mate. / そんなことでまじめなカソリック教徒であることをアピールするのは、ちょっとちがうぞ / Huh? / That's not the way to look at it, mate. / that's no way to / describe / out of it / b__ so patted in my brain, so I __ make __ mistake / I ... I don't / retrospectively dodge ... dodge__ indoctrination / yeah / __ __ __ hope, mate. Just accept it. / H__ / And you should feel guilty about that. __ __ ... / H__ ... / Well, of course I do. / Yeah. / Hallowed be thy name / Yeah, / That's the ... that would be the right answer, but the wrong answer would be / I don't know. ... "Hello". I can't think of anything other than "Hello". ... __ / Howard be thy name / everyone knows that / I've never thought that before. / I don't think / It's not even a name. ... It's not even a name. / __ __ __ H__ / I know, but, exactly / that's why / that's why H__ or H__ __ obvious ones / I get it. I get it. I didn't get that at all. I get it now ... as in "H__ be thy name", yeah. / OK / ハロルド / OK. ... Let's carry on / you / easy one as well / OK. / OK. / on Are You Smarter Than a Ten-year Old? / Yes. / you know that programme? / Yes / Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year Old? ... The quiz show __ Noel Edmonds. / Yes. / Right? / ten / old / once posed this question: Was the Tyrannosaurus Rex a carnivore or a herbivore? / What was the wrong answer that somebody gave to that? / Herbivore. / 間違った答えだから ... 草食竜？ / No. ... I'll give you another go / either-or / c__ or / No. They had / either-or / contestant was given an either-or / 二択問題を与えられたんだ。 / so, Noel Edmonds said, / Yeah, / Was the Tyrannosaurus Rex carnivor or a herbivore? That was what they were given / so / but that's not what they answered. / Huh, OK. / they said, "No. ... It wasn't __ __ __. It was a ... / Uh ... __ __ really difficult / I don't know. Pass. / Noel Edmonds / or / the contesant said, / No, it was a dinosaur. / ティラノサウルスは肉食竜ですか？それとも草食竜ですか？/ いいえ、ティラノサウルスは恐竜です。/ Excellent. / __ __ / Excellent. / ... You are on 2 out of 4. / OK. / OK. ... Ben Shepherd on Tipping Point. / Yes. / __ __ quiz I've seen __ / Have you seen it? / what day / traditionally celebrated in the UK? / What did the contestant say? / Um ... / What day is Christmas day traditionally celebrated in the UK? ... What would be the right answer? / Uh ... 25th of December. / Right. What would be the wrong answer / wrong answer / this contestant g__ / wrong answer / No. ... That would have been good, though. ... That would have been a good one. / Um ... / What day is the Christmas day celebrated / would have been a very good answer / right / J ... Jesus's birthday? / __ __ __ good, but it's not right. / 英国では伝統的に何日にクリスマスを祝うでしょうか？/ キリストの誕生日 / Uh ... uh ... __ bank holiday Monday? / No. Wednesday. / Excellent. / 2 ... 2 out of 5. ... On D__ D__ ... / Yeah, / Not a quiz show I've seen, / __ __ / D__ D__ / __ Johnson posed the question, "Name the German national airline." / ... OK. / What would be the right answer? / Lufthansa. / Yeah. / What's ... what's the wrong answer? / Uh ... British Airways. / No. / Oh. / It's good, but it's not right. / I don't know. / Luftwaffe. / ... 2 out of 6. / Excellent. / Bob H__ on B__ __, ... God rest his soul, ... says, / What / make in __ dark / consider / consequence / "love". / right wrong answer / yeah / So, that's 3 out of 7. / OK. / OK. Well done. ... Uh ... on Family Fortunes, / Yeah. / Name a way of toasting someone. / ... Put them in a toaster. / Well ... __ not ... / __ a grill / over a fire. / It's the ... I'm gonna give you that. / OK. / I'm gonna give you that. / __ the right answer was ... what? ... __ ch__ or something? / I presume so, yeah / drink / OK / raising ... raising a glass ... whatever / over __ fire / Family Fortunes again / stay __ __ Family Fortunes / Name a famous bridge. ... What is the right wrong answer? / 有名な橋をひとつあげてください / 明日にかける橋 / uh ... Over Troubled Water. / Yes. Ping ! / Oh. ... __. / 5 out of 9. __ __ __ ... you could get __ possible / enjoying this / might as well just carry on. / Yeah. Good. / music on / music ... a DJ asked, in a quiz, / What name does Cat Stevens go under now since becoming a muslim? / ... Uh ... uh ... something like Yusuf M__ or something, isn't it? I can't remember exactly / __ __ __ __ Yusuf Islam / Yusuf Islam, yeah. OK. / Uh ... but ... but that's the right answer. What __ wrong answer / What name __ Cat Stevens / becoming a muslim? / I don't know / A__ __. / ... No. ... What quiz was that? / どの番組？ / It was on __ __ Radio. ... "A__" ... __ __ carry on / 6 out of 10. Well done. __ __ __ end of the quiz / Thanks. / here we go / on University Challenge __ __ __ __ back a bit / once asked, what was Gandhi's first name? / "Mahatma" being the correct answer ... / "Mahatma" being the right answer, the wrong answer the contestant gave was ... Gandhi's first name was ... / I don't know. / G__. / ... That's brilliant. / Who painted the Sistine Chapel? / Uh ... Michelangelo? / Uh, Leonardo DiCaprio. / Oh, genius. / I can't go on. I can't go on. / システィナ礼拝堂の天井画を描いたのは誰？/ レオナルド・ディカプリオ。

__ __ there, we've come to the end of the show, mate / good / yeah / next week I'm in London. I think Barry Castagnola is here / Lloyd __ / also back from his travel / he may be around / we're back to normal, basically. It's / all / here / That's it, Korkey / over / enjoy__ / Any final ... / any final words? / Let's go buy some, uh, some LPs / Let's buy some records __ down the shops. See you next week. T__ t__.

If you enjoyed that, why don't you listen to the whole show? Rhod Gilbert live on Saturday mornings, BBC Radio Wales, 11 till 1.

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